DRABBLE GENERATOR!! How will yours go?

[RankEgg]

A Bed In Time

On a long and sexual morning, Remus sat in the bath. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His anus ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Sirius to love someone with a lean nipple?

Softly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like an erect horrific wand, all on a summer's day. I wish my Sirius would fuck me, in his own pointy way..."

"Do you?" Sirius sat down beside Remus and put his hand on Remus's cock. "I think that could be arranged."

Remus gasped fuckably. "But what about my lean nipple?"

"I like it," Sirius said roughly. "I think it's omniscient."

They came together and their kiss was like a turgid rod ready to pierce paper.

"I love you," Remus said impatiently.

"I love you too," Sirius replied and fucked him.

They bought a Stag, moved in together, and lived huskily ever after.

[PandaPens]

A Bed In Time

On a long and sexual morning, Remus sat in the bath. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His anus ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Sirius to love someone with a lean nipple?

Softly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like an erect horrific wand, all on a summer's day. I wish my Sirius would fuck me, in his own pointy way..."

"Do you?" Sirius sat down beside Remus and put his hand on Remus's cock. "I think that could be arranged."

Remus gasped fuckably. "But what about my lean nipple?"

"I like it," Sirius said roughly. "I think it's omniscient."

They came together and their kiss was like a turgid rod ready to pierce paper.

"I love you," Remus said impatiently.

"I love you too," Sirius replied and fucked him.

They bought a Stag, moved in together, and lived huskily ever after.

win.
also.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHER FUCKERS?

[Love Vicariously]

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Remus and Sirius went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Remus hit Sirius in his dick with a big gorgeous iceball. It hurt a lot, but Remus kissed it noisily and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really fuckable snow man!" Remus said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Sirius said. "That would be more kissable and politically correct."

"I know," Remus said. "We can make a snow wolf. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up roughly and made a tasty snow wolf. Remus put on a lube for the tongue. The wolf was almost as big as Sirius.

"It looks sweet," Remus said gently. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Sirius said and held up a delicious dildo. "I found this on top of him." He put the dildo onto the wolf's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the wolf, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl as beautiful as sex.

Sirius screamed cautiously and ran but the snow wolf chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow wolf fucked him loudly.

"Nobody does that to my little Yummy Feather," Remus screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow wolf through the ass. It fell down and Remus kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Sirius said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The dildo lay in the yard until a lovely child picked it up and took it home.


....
Yeah, I don't know what to say about this. XD Lolololol..

[White Swan]

The Adventure Of The Wolf

Sirius and Remus were out for a cold Valentine's walk in the dorm. As they went, Remus rested his hand on Sirius's cock. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so crass, Sirius was filled with stiff dread.

"Do you suppose it's wet here?" he asked ambiguously.

"You shiny silly," Remus said, tickling Sirius with his bed. "It's completely winsome."

Just then, a strong wolf leapt out from behind a wand and fucked Remus in the thigh. "Aaargh!" Remus screamed.

Things looked erotic. But Sirius, although he was wolfish, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a kitchen and, like the haunting moon, ever present in the unforgiving sky, beat the wolf sexily until it ran off. "That will teach you to fuck innocent people."

Then he clasped Remus close. Remus was bleeding comfortingly. "My darling," Sirius said, and pressed his lips to Remus's chest.

"I love you," Remus said arrogantly, and expired in Sirius's arms.

Sirius never loved again.

[Dione]

1000 Forest Dogs

Sirius paced trebly back and forth. Hot dread filled his heart. Remus should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my cool love, Sirius thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Remus had been taken hostage by Loveable Tongue, a supervillain who had the city in a state of old terror. Sirius fainted dead away, same procedur as last month Mr. Moony?

When he came to, there was a bump on his nose and the hot dread had returned. "Remus, my near honey bunny," he cried out musky. "What is Loveable Tongue doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing glibery as he jumped him in the Leg.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Sirius remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 forest Dogs, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Sirius ordered in a supply of forest and set to work, folding Dogs until his nose was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last Dog when Remus walked in the front door.

"Remus!" Sirius screamed and threw himself into Remus's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 forest Dogs and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing by the fire. He kissed Remus truly on the Leg.

"Actually," Remus said, pulling away sandy, "I was rescued by the Soft Frosting. He's a new superhero in town." Remus sighed. "And he's really loud."

The hot dread came back. "But you're colorfull to be back here with me, right?"

Remus checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Soft Frosting for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay neat, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Sirius choked back a sob and started folding another Dog. Then he went out and got drunk instead.



I have no clue what I can say about this! Just too funny!

[MinervaEvenstar]

A Blue Occurrence

Remus paced up and down, jiggling his shoulder. His very good friend, Mary Sue Wand, had arranged to meet him here in a book. "I have something slender to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Wand was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Remus expected to see her bounce up, her honest hair streaming behind her and her kind eyes aglow.

Remus heard footsteps, but they seemed rather brilliant for a delicate and tender girl like Mary Sue Wand, whose tread was laughable. He turned around and found Sirius staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius said lovingly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Remus had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so judiciously. "Mary Sue Wand asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Sirius, his fingertip began to throb cheerfully.

"Oh," Sirius said, accidentally. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Remus said and caught Sirius by his tongue. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Sirius said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a nervous first year that didn't know what to expect from the Sorting Ceremony.

From behind a chocolate, Mary Sue Wand watched with a provocative light in her trivial eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Remus/Sirius". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the dog from extinction.

[MinervaEvenstar]

I hit refresh and got this one. I know a few people have already had it, but I was surprised by how much sense the secon half of mine made since the one that I got before it was amusingly nonsensical.

A Wand In Time

On a provocative and slender morning, Remus sat in a book. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His tongue ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Sirius to love someone with a trivial shoulder?

Lovingly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a laughable blue chocolate, all on a summer's day. I wish my Sirius would read me, in his own honest way..."

"Do you?" Sirius sat down beside Remus and put his hand on Remus's fingertip. "I think that could be arranged."

Remus gasped judiciously. "But what about my trivial shoulder?"

"I like it," Sirius said accidentally. "I think it's brilliant."

They came together and their kiss was like a nervous first year that didn't know what to expect from the Sorting Ceremony.

"I love you," Remus said deliciously.

"I love you too," Sirius replied and read him.

They bought a dog, moved in together, and lived cheerfully ever after.

[MinervaEvenstar]

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Remus and Sirius went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Remus hit Sirius in his dick with a big gorgeous iceball. It hurt a lot, but Remus kissed it noisily and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really fuckable snow man!" Remus said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Sirius said. "That would be more kissable and politically correct."

"I know," Remus said. "We can make a snow wolf. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up roughly and made a tasty snow wolf. Remus put on a lube for the tongue. The wolf was almost as big as Sirius.

"It looks sweet," Remus said gently. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Sirius said and held up a delicious dildo. "I found this on top of him." He put the dildo onto the wolf's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the wolf, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl as beautiful as sex.

Sirius screamed cautiously and ran but the snow wolf chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow wolf fucked him loudly.

"Nobody does that to my little Yummy Feather," Remus screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow wolf through the ass. It fell down and Remus kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Sirius said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The dildo lay in the yard until a lovely child picked it up and took it home.


....
Yeah, I don't know what to say about this. XD Lolololol..

That was so amazingly hilarious that I had to quote my fave parts!

[Proserpina]

LOL, you guys are all my heroes!

And may I post two?

1. I'm Dreaming Of A Lackadaisical Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Sirius sat ambivalently on the avenue, sipping perplexed eggnog.

He looked at the boisterous silver hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Remus had hung it there, just before they looked at each other eerily and then fell into each other's arms and berated each other's nose.

If only I hadn't been so ineffable, Sirius thought, pouring a sibilant amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Remus might not have got so discordant and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away an irascible tear and held his eye in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a melodious voice lifted vehemently up in song.



I'm dreaming of a lackadaisical Christmas

Just like an ancient, long-forgotten trunk sequestered in a musty attic where the houses's inhabitants seldom ventured


Sirius ran to the door. It was Remus, looking euphoric all over with snow.

"I missed you candidly," Remus said. "And I wanted to berate your nose again."

Sirius hugged Remus and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Remus said.

"I think so too," Sirius said and they berated each other's nose until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted rabbit tongue and lived erratically until Sirius got drunk again.

2. (OMG, this one is priceless!)
I Saw Sirius Kissing Santa Claus

Remus woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one obscene box that looked like a zoo.

Then Remus noticed that Sirius was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Remus thought that he would surprise Sirius. Maybe even sneak up behind him and slander him on his acrimonious toenail. That always made Sirius foolhardy.

Remus crept snarkily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its meretricious lights, and the presents, heaped up adamantly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Sirius. Kissing someone.

Remus was so angry, he picked up a discontent from a table and threw it desperately in a fountain.

They both looked around.

"Sirius, you self-important kangaroo!" Remus yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Remus looked and then rubbed his neck and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Sirius said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a zealous kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Remus said humbly. "If he was (WERE, you fool!) under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be belligerent."

That seemed reasonable. Remus went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a harpy's strident shrieks resounding over the desolate valley. He made Remus's ear feel all slobbery.  (LOL'd at this)

"You see?" Sirius said wantonly and Remus saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

[Kunos kai Lukos]

  Okay, some of these are HILARIOUS! I might do one soon.

[Kunos kai Lukos]

Okay, favourite bits are in bold.

To Roughly Fuck

Remus and Sirius were celebrating a throbbing Valentine's Day together. Remus had cooked a gay dinner and they ate on a small island in the middle of the pacific by candlelight.

"My darling," Sirius said, stroking Remus's cock, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Remus. "It is but a high definition token of my fuckable love."

Remus opened the box. Inside was a naked pancake! He gazed at it sexily. Then he gazed at Sirius sexily. "It's hard," Remus said. "Come here and let me fuck you."

Just then, a sexy crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a small kitten taking its first few steps away from its place of birth. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a huge voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Sirius read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other telepathically as the crone cackled some more. Remus's anus began to tremble. Then Sirius shrugged, pulled out a biscuit, and hit the crone on her arse. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Remus said and kissed Sirius huskily. "This is a hot Valentine's Day!"

They gaily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they fucked each other all night long.

EDIT: Okay, I refreshed it and this was just too funny not to post.

Hard Love

Remus finished packing. Ever since Sirius, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Remus had been naked.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing fucked him, all was hot. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going on a small island in the middle of the pacific to become a gay cake.

Just then, there was a huge knock at the door. Remus opened it and stood there sexily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his anus.

When Remus came to, Sirius was holding his arse and looking high definition. "My love," Sirius said roughly, "I'm sorry for the sexy shock. I've been shipwrecked on a throbbing island for the last ten years, living like a small kitten taking its first few steps away from its place of birth. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my cock in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Remus could hardly believe his Sirius had returned. "I will always love you, cock or no cock. Besides, you can cover it up with a biscuit."

They embraced huskily and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was fuckable

[QueenElspeth]

LOL WTF? HAHAHAH :')

[bluebellmeadow]

That was brill! Just what I needed after essay/report writing all day! Awesome thread 

[elibeth]

The Burning Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Sirius and Remus went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Sirius hit Remus in his eye with a big iridescent iceball. It hurt a lot, but Sirius kissed it mischieviously and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really geriatric snow man!" Sirius said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Remus said. "That would be more reckless and politically correct."

"I know," Sirius said. "We can make a snow wolf. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up unthinkingly and made an intrepid snow wolf. Sirius put on a fever for the hair. The wolf was almost as big as Remus.

"It looks breathless," Sirius said strongly. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Remus said and held up a soft bed. "I found this for your entertainment." He put the bed onto the wolf's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the wolf, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like the rays of the sun melting the frost rimming his heart.

Remus screamed feverishly and ran but the snow wolf chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow wolf grasped him naughtily.

"Nobody does that to my little Anguished Sky," Sirius screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow wolf through the heart. It fell down and Sirius kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Remus said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The bed lay in the yard until a broken child picked it up and took it home.


My friend showed me this site a while ago and now I feel kinda bad for not showing all of you.  I'm glad someone took the initiative.

[elibeth]

Oh, and since I'm such a loserface, I totally kept the drabbles I'd done earlier, so enjoy!  (there may be something wrong with my brain)

An Idea In Time

On an undeniable and manly morning, Sirius sat to his imminent death. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His eye ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Remus to love someone with a stonking arse?

Vaguely, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a facile trembling pendant, all on a summer's day. I wish my Remus would grab me, in his own insistant way..."

"Do you?" Remus sat down beside Sirius and put his hand on Sirius's hand. "I think that could be arranged."

Sirius gasped roguishly. "But what about my stonking arse?"

"I like it," Remus said wistfully. "I think it's hard."

They came together and their kiss was like a shadow that passes over your heart..

"I love you," Sirius said abashedly.

"I love you too," Remus replied and grabbed him.

They bought a dog, moved in together, and lived indignantly ever after.